Article / Writing Fight Scenes

When writing fight scenes, two things are important: Avoid blow-by-blow narrative, and set the ‘mood’ of the action.

In the following excerpt from Kill Bill, a quick and dirty sword fight is described using minimal words. Just a few key actions, such as ‘cuts through the first four rather quickly’ is enough for the Director and the Actors to go on. It has already been established what kind of sword fight takes place, and a skilled master will be hired to choreograph the action. No blow-by-blow, slice-and-dice narrative is needed. The short narrative matches the short fight.

Next, the mood, or the ‘personality’ of the fight, is set using just a few brilliantly chosen words and phrases. ‘the Hanzo sword in his hand is peerless’ says a lot about the sword and how it is handled, and the confidence of its owner. Follow this with ‘falls under the master’s blade’ and you have your fighter – a master swordsman with a peerless sword – and your fight – cuts through rather quickly – written in such a way that gives the directing and acting plenty to interpret, enjoy, study, and perform. And — a great cinematic moment!

Excerpt from Kill Bill

INT. HALLWAY HOTEL

The Five tuxedo-clad bodyguards hit the hallway, only to
see….BILL, with his Hanzo sword unsheathed, standing at the
end.

This wasn’t expected, they unsheath their swords.

He Charges at them.

In the hotel’s hallway, Bill cuts through the five men. His
mastery of the Hanzo sword in his hand is peerless. He cuts
through the first four rather quickly. The fifth one, Alburt,
is the most skilled, but he too falls under the master’s
blade.

In the following excerpt, the brevity in the action narrative is priceless. Given the page limits in script writing, mastering this kind of storytelling is a must. ‘a savage boxing workout’ tells the director and actors plenty in just four words. Add in ‘California Mountain Snake’ and you get an idea of what kind of opponet this woman might be’. Your job is done.

Excerpt

INT. ELLE DRIVER’S GYM – NIGHT

The six-foot tall, long-haired blonde with the codename
“California Mountain Snake,” is doing a savage boxing workout
with her COACH.

The following short action gives the fight a whole lot of attitude. As a writer, this is essential. It’s what gives Bull Durham and Kill Bill unique personalities during fight scenes, and gives writers their unique ‘voice’. Key point: write with the same attitude you want your characters to portray.

Excerpt

This is one white bitch who can kick some serious FUCKIN ass.
With one mighty blow from her huge right arm (synched to the
sound of a CAR CRASH), her boxing Coach buys the farm.

The following fight scene has more blow-by-blow narrative, but it is cut up (no pun) with dialogue that reinforces the ‘personality’ of the fight. However, much of the individual action is still written with brevity; ‘dodging at will all of her rapid sword slashes’, and ‘She ATTACKS with a wild cat’s fury’ have attitude and action.

The Bride doesn’t need a second invitation, she ATTACKS with
the sword.

He deftly moves out of the way.

The fighting style is now like an old Shaw Brothers film,
with Pai Mei dodging at will all of her rapid sword slashes.

Quick and skillful as her moves are, they’re also full of
Effort and Frustration. While Pai Mei effortlessly moves out
of the sword’s path.

He’s amused, and Speaks while they fight;

PAI MEI *
Come now woman, can’t you even hit
an old man?

She tries more…

PAI MEI *
Your ability really is quite poor.

He STRIKES her with a blow to her chest, delivered with an
open palm, that sends her flying back hard against the wall.
She clutches her chest, and coughs up some blood.

Pai Mei laughs as he strokes his long white beard.

PAI MEI *
Ha ha ha ha ha! I’ve fought
cripples who posed more of a
challenge. Now fight, goddamn you!

She ATTACKS with a wild cat’s fury.

He HOPS and DUCKS and DODGES her sword easily.

He LEAPS HIGH UP IN THE AIR, and LANDS STANDING on the Blade
of her Sword.

The Bride looks down the blade of her sword and can’t believe
it.

Pai Mei smiles at her and says;

PAI MEI *
From here you can get an excellent
view of my foot.

He does a BACKFLIP off the sword, kicking the Bride in the
face in mid-somersault sending her CRASHING THROUGH A WOOD
WALL.

The Bride emerges from the hole in the wall.

Pai Mei stands waiting for her, TWIRLING THE SWORD in his
hand like a cheerleader twirling a baton, till the twirling
STOPS. The sword’s handle is pointed towards the Bride.

Excerpts from Charlie’s Angels

On the far wall, Natalie switches on the overhead hooks,
which circle on a wire like a ski lift. The Thin Man
looks up, distracted, not noticing –

DYLAN

As she creeps up behind the cover of the rolling laundry
carts. She’s succeeded in circling behind the Thin Man
as he talks on the phone.

She clears her throat. The Thin Man turns. She kicks
him in the jaw.

Knocked back, he drops the phone, which CRACKS and slips
under a washing machine.

He crab-walks back, then suddenly springs back to his feet.
We weren’t expecting that kind of ninja move out of this guy.

HE TURNS TO SEE

NATALIE

right behind him. With a coiled towel, she grabs his gun
arm and expertly flips him. But he reacts smoothly, rolling
over to charge at Natalie, picking her up like a sack of
potatoes. As he does, he grabs her right in the tit.

NATALIE
Hey! Hands off, assh….

Before she can finish her sentence, the Thin Man throws
Natalie at Dylan, knocking them both down. He jumps up,
and with a single motion grabs an overhead pipe and kicks
another, releasing a wall of steam — we can’t see a thing.

By the time the fog clears, the Thin Man is long gone.