Article / Dialogue

Excerp from my upcoming book …

If ya’ll  ain’t got nuthin’ subtextual to say, then

don’t say nuthin’ at all.

This section is going to get heavy.

Only three  terms you need to remember: On The Nose, Expositional, and Subtext. The difference between these two is a honkin’ lead weight or a sublime lightness of being.

On the nose, also referred to as OTN, is when you write that dust-in-the-mouth dialogue that says exactly what you mean. Seems that should be a goal, but such is not the case.

Imagine if you will, settling in for a little Whitman and a steaming cup of chai at your neighborhood coffee house, and the world’s two most boring people on the planet ask if they can share your table. After they have sat, lucky you gets to listen in on the world’s most boring (OTN) conversation.

BORING PERSON

I’m having liposuction today.

BORING FRIEND

That’s nice.

BORING PERSON

I’m going to walk over to the Lipo-Mat after I drink this cup of coffee with cream I just bought for three dollars.

BORING FRIEND

I’m going to hand wash my intimates in a gentle soap designed for cheap synthetic fabrics. After that I’m going to make dinner with the leftovers from last night’s dinner. Meatloaf. Jack’s favorite.

Once your face hits the table and you slip into a coma, maybe they’ll actually say something interesting.

BORING PERSON

Well that was rude.

BORING FRIEND

Valium will do it every time. Let’s find another table.

Yeah, like in the morgue. And thank you for moving.

Subtext is pretty much the opposite. You don’t say directly what you mean, but rather infer it. Or, infer something else entirely.

A good film will use a healthy dose of subtext, also called double intender (double meaning), and often times to tell two stories at the same time, one for the audience that is there just to be occupied for an hour, and the other for the audience that came to be fully engaged. These two audiences will walk away with two very different experiences.

This an old tool for story telling, and was often used to ridicule a particular part of society without getting busted.

Fact is, some folks are just more awake than others. Figure any given audience may have an IQ range of 40-50 points, and your story should appeal to all of them, being careful not to lose those on the low end and bore those on the high end.

These days a lot of film is designed for niche markets, and creating layers is not a big priority. But a few pearls still come along from time to time.

Let’s try this again. You’re settling in with some classic Asimov and sipping a frap when two semi-lucid folks ask to share your table.

LUCID PERSON

Stella’s having lipo today.

LUCID FRIEND

Tallow companies must love her?

LUCID PERSON

Maybe I’ll say hi after this, if I can recognize her.

LUCID FRIEND

Fat chance.

LUCID PERSON

You doing the Betty Crocker thing tonight?

LUCID FRIEND

Everything has its price. Now I just need to remember what his favorite is.

LUCID PERSON

You’re sitting on it.

LUCID FRIEND

There’s always that. Too bad it doesn’t fit on a silver platter anymore.

LUCID PERSON

Forget the silver. Get the plastic and we’ll show him the real meaning of priceless.

Let’s do this …

Let’s say this film is about two forty-something women, both beautiful, both married, and both wealthy, trying to come to terms with impending menopause, the woman’s mid-life crisis.

Or at least that is how the film is billed. Subtext will create another layer to tell another story at the same time. or what some folks will say the film was ‘really’ about.

Let’s say the second film is about vanity, and prostituting oneself to get it. This second film is hidden in amongst a rather garden-variety story about these two women. Let’s also pretend the writer has a rather cynical view of what folks are willing to do for material gratification, and wants to draw parallels between the ladies on the corner, and the materialistic folks next door.

NOTE: Does it really need to be this complicated? Not really, but keep in mind many a good and great film have some kind of second story going on. Not all, but some: Matrix, No Country for Old Men, etc. Not everyone agrees on what that second story was meant to convey, but it’s there.

We’ll cover subtext-lite after this.

Okay, so let’s pick apart the above dialogue and see what’s really being said, and what it may tell us about these two women, and where some of the second layer might be.

LUCID PERSON

Stella’s having lipo today.

LUCID FRIEND

Tallow companies must love her?

The opening dialogue is straight forward, but what does the second dialogue really mean?

Tallow is fat, usually collected from grease traps at restaurants by tallow reclamation companies, and sold to a variety of manufactures, including soap and candles. In other words, the liposuction friend is likely overweight, and gets liposuction every chance she gets. We didn’t say any of that, but we inferred it. But what else are we poking fun at? Vanity.

I would also say this was a really rude comment, and calls into question friend’s sincerity. What’s up with her?

next line …

LUCID PERSON

Maybe I’ll say hi after this, if I can recognize her.

LUCID FRIEND

Fat chance.

Again, the first dialogue is pretty basic. Fact is, going overkill on the subtext just creates an hour plus of a mental Rubic’s cube for your audience that came to be occupied. They are the entire base of the pyramid that pays for film industry, so treat them kindly.

The second dialogue is meant as a pun, but also shows us that maybe Friend has a cruel streak in her. It’s her second rude comment. Maybe her vanity exists at the expense of others.

Next line …

LUCID PERSON

You doing the Betty Crocker thing tonight?

For those of you who don’t know, Betty Crocker, and invented icon back in the 1920s, was/is America’s quintessential homemaker, with a variety of baked goods still on the market.

‘Doing the Betty Crocker thing’ would likely mean cooking for a spouse, probably in a somewhat traditional role. Translation would be ‘Are you cooking for your husband tonight?’

The fact the question was asked likely means this is not something that happens seven days a week.

The next line is loaded!

LUCID FRIEND

Everything has its price. Now I just need to remember what his favorite is.

What is she really saying? Price? Here’s where we see the first hint at the underlying story of prostituting one’s self for material gratification. Friend sees her relationship/marriage as a means to a wealthy existence and not much else. Her second line pretty much shows us she doesn’t really pay attention to what her husband likes, or doesn’t like. Marital indifference.

Friend is in this for the bucks, and will look interested when she needs to. What do we call these kind of women? Gold diggers. Trophy wives. Plastic miners.

And what does it tell us of the husband we have not even met? He expects his wife to know his favorite dinner, and cook it for him when he asks. He’s likely somewhat old-fashioned in his thinking, and might be the kind of man that likes a beautiful woman hung off his arm like silk when engaging in networking and brown-nosing. Or, he acquiesced to his wife’s incessant hissy fits. Whichever.

Next line …

LUCID PERSON

You’re sitting on it.

Obvious reference to her female ‘charms’, and a suggestion that maybe the husband puts physical beauty first, and likely shows these two women share a lot of personal gossip.

Next line ..

LUCID FRIEND

There’s always that. Too bad it doesn’t fit on a silver platter anymore.

What does she mean by ‘There’s always that’? Maybe that she ‘puts out’ only when she has to, and as a last resort to get what she wants. Maybe intimacy with her husband is or always has been dull. Her next line is more vanity; a beautiful woman concerned about the size of her butt.

Silver platter? Maybe she thinks her ‘charms’ are worthy of a king.

In short, she thinks she’s pretty special, and will let her husband indulge, but for a price.

And finally …

LUCID PERSON

Forget the silver. Get the plastic and we’ll show him the real meaning of priceless.

Plastic is credit cards, and credit cards is shopping. ‘Real meaning of priceless’? A take on the Master Card commercials and likely means these ladies want to do some damage.

Vanity, and prostituting one’s self for a shot at material gain.

Let’s read it again …

LUCID PERSON

Stella’s having lipo today.

LUCID FRIEND

Tallow companies must love her?

LUCID PERSON

Maybe I’ll say hi after this, if I can recognize her.

LUCID FRIEND

Fat chance.

LUCID PERSON

You doing the Betty Crocker thing tonight?

LUCID FRIEND

Everything has its price. Now I just need to remember what his favorite is.

LUCID PERSON

You’re sitting on it.

LUCID FRIEND

There’s always that. Too bad it doesn’t fit on a silver platter anymore.

LUCID PERSON

Forget the silver. Get the plastic and we’ll show him the real meaning of priceless.

Knowing what we now know, do we like either of these ladies? Not really, and certainly not the friend, but this is out of context, and there might be something to like about one or the other.

Much also depends on what genre this is told in. Comedy would certainly lighten the mood, and maybe mask the second story best. It’s a toss up. I’d likely use comedy in the spirit of “Intolerable Cruelty”.

One thing to remember is that sub-plots and this second layer are not one in the same. a possible sub-plot for the above film could be anything from one of the women wanting to untie her tubes and have a child before it’s too late, to having a raging libido battling an insecurity about an aging body.

The second story would remain a film about vanity, and it’s powerful allure. The second film may even show how vanity is just as addictive as crack.

I’m over-thinking this, but you get the point.

*****

Film can get really deep into it, so much so that it becomes fodder for scholarly debate.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3027027.stm (one of many interpretations of Matrix)

The good news is the story is somewhat worthy of discussion beyond ‘Dude, that was so cool.’ On the flip side, every intellectual wannabe will be reading stuff into it that was never intended, like art scholars certain they found secret messages in Van Gogh’s Irises, and go on and on about what the artist was thinking when he painted them.

Sure.

With subtext-lite, a writer doesn’t get into layers and layers of hidden meanings and complex interpretations of one belief or another, but keeps it light, witty, and still avoids the OTN dialogue. A clever use of inference goes a long, long way to keeping a film engaging.

Matrix relied heavily on SFX to tell the story, and film scholars seem to agree there is much more going on than meets the eye. What that is, is what they debate and why they get to be scholars.

Titanic also used a lot of SFX to tell the story, but I have seen little if any scholarly discussions about deeper meanings. It’s a pretty simple story, and I would argue the dialogue feels pretty static.

Both films are also hugely successful, which I feel demonstrates that story is king. How ‘deep’ one wants to go to tell it is the writer’s call. Making Titanic overly complex may have sunk it right along with the ship, and I’m guessing a large number of Matrix fans are pretty clueless as to the multiple layers moving through the film, even after watching it several times.

Find what level of dialogue you want to work at, match it up with a good story you want to tell, make sure they are compatible, and get to work

*****

This somewhat gets back to knowing your audience before you begin to write. I somehow doubt 50 and 60-something professionals were lining up to see “The Fast and the Furious”, just like teenagers probably were not lining up to see “Charlie Wilson’s War”. A few maybe.

Let’s write a scene, maybe three or four sequences, and put subtext to work.

First we need a story …

How about this. We have an old man who’s pretty much accepted he’s down to his last few years. He was a union factory worker all his life, and has established views on what women can and cannot do. Nice guy all things considered, but his family – kids, grand kids – ignore him. Everyone except a seven-year-old great-grand daughter who is a rough-and-tumble tomboy.

We’ll call the old man Grandpa, and the child Sinclair.

In his younger days, grandpa was an avid outdoorsman. To his disappointment, all his kids grew up to be professionals too busy to give nature much thought, and the grand kids followed in their footsteps. Then along came Sinclair, who would rather go fishing than learn math.

Grandpa is lonely, but his views on girls keeps him from seeing the opportunity to make friends with Sinclair. One day he is cajoled into babysitting Sinclair a few days, and this sets in motion what the film is about – on the surface.

Behind this film runs another, a film about a few Zen principles (getting to the bottom of one’s self, Mu, and a reverence for nature), and applying the aesthetic philosophy of Wabi Sabi (nothing is finished, nothing is perfect, and nothing lasts).

Let’s create a scene where Grandpa and Sinclair go fishing. Grandpa has decided to give it a shot, regardless his fishing buddy is a girl.

How does all this fit in to dialogue? It is through dialogue much of the ‘hidden meaning’ or ’second film’ will be revealed or reinforced, at least to some of the audience, but not all.

Why all the fuss for only a few minds? Writers usually have something they want to say, or a message they want to depart – about society in general, or a specific aspect of it – and will use film to convey this, either via in-your-face, or on a journey of discovery. I’ll stick my neck out here and say for every one-hundred tickets sold, maybe ten are there to watch your ‘whole film’, the story you really want to tell. The other ninety pay the bills, and hopefully walk away entertained, and feel they got their money’s worth.

Welcome to the pyramid scheme of film! Hardly a new concept.

I warned you this section was going to get heavy!

Let’s start our scene …

EXT. RIVER – DAY

Autumn colors hang over swift-moving waters. Rocks add a babbling backdrop.

Grandpa and Sinclair arrive, a cool distance between them, and set their equipment.

SINCLAIR

I like this spot.

They both unpack their gear.

GRANDPA

Good enough. Don’t be sad if you don’t catch nothin’.

SINCLAIR

I won’t.

Sinclair settles in to baiting her hook and preparing her basket and knife. Grandpa watches.

GRANDPA

Really took to fishin’, didn’t ya?

SINCLAIR

I suppose so.

Sinclair steps to the water and casts. Satisfied, she sets her pole among a few rocks and sits. Silence.

GRANDPA

Don’t say much do you?

Sinclair motions Grandpa to be quiet.

SINCLAIR

The fish can hear you.

Grandpa buttons his lips and then casts, sets his pole, and sits next to Sinclair. The babbling water and rustling leaves set a harmony of sounds.

GRANDPA

(whispers)

Can we whisper?

SINCLAIR

(whispers)

Whisper about what?

She points to the water.

SINCLAIR

(whispers)

The water will take whatever you say all the way to the big ocean.

GRANDPA

I didn’t know that.

Sinclair gets a bite, calmly stands and reels it in.

She pulls the fish from the hook, guts and cleans it, then tosses it into her basket. She re-baits her hook, casts, and settles in. Seamless. Grandpa is impressed.

GRANDPA

Real fine catch.

SINCLAIR

How long you been fishin’, Grandpa?

GRANDPA

Oh, I guess maybe seventy years now. Started out when I was about your age. Can I tell you about it?

SINCLAIR

Will you finish before you die?

GRANDPA

Not much tell. I’d say yes. Why?

SINCLAIR

Sometimes my mom reads to me, but doesn’t finish the story, and then she forgets all about it.

Sinclair gathers up a handful of fallen leaves and arranges them in order of those with the most green, to those which are brown and dry. In the middle are reds and yellows and oranges.

She points to the green leaf.

SINCLAIR

That’s me.

She points to the brown leaf.

SINCLAIR

That’s you.

GRANDPA

Sounds about right.

SINCLAIR

So, what happens after that?

Grandpa arranges the leaves in a circle, ends touching. Sinclair studies it a moment.

SINCLAIR

Hmm.

She gathers up more leaves, and with a careful hand makes a big spiral that repeats green to brown, green to brown.

GRANDPA

What are you thinking there?

SINCLAIR

Mom and dad fight a lot.

GRANDPA

What about?

SINCLAIR

Dad says life stinks because it just goes around and around and around.

Sinclair gets another bite and reels it in. She cleans it and tosses it in Grandpa’s basket, baits and casts, then rejoins him.

SINCLAIR

You can have that one.

GRANDPA

Appreciate it. So, you were saying?

SINCLAIR

Well, mom says it only appears that way to idiots with their eyes half opened. I figure maybe it’s more like this. Some things start over, only in a different place than before.

GRANDPA

Awful lot of thinking there.

SINCLAIR

Wait.

She gathers up a few rocks, a few sticks, and adds them in the mix here and there. Grandpa watches.

Finished, Sinclair sits back and studies the spiral.

SINCLAIR

Like that. New things come along that aren’t like the rest of the things, like computers. Mom told me you didn’t have them when you were a kid. Is that true?

GRANDPA

Yes, that’s true.

SINCLAIR

How did you guys talk?

GRANDPA

With the voices God gave us.

Grandpa gets a bite, reels it in and cleans it. He holds up the fish.

GRANDPA

Heads or tails?

Sinclair points to her own cheeks.

SINCLAIR

Heads.

Grandpa cuts the fish in half and tosses the head into Sinclair’s basket, the tail into his. He baits and casts, then rejoins Sinclair.

GRANDPA

It will be getting dark in a few hours.

Sinclair holds up a small broken rock, inspects it, then hands it to Grandpa.

GRANDPA

What’s this for?

SINCLAIR

I like the color. It isn’t perfect, but seems like things aren’t supposed to be. At least that’s what I think.

GRANDPA

I think you’re right.

They move back to the water.

MONTAGE

Sinclair and Grandpa cast and catch, clean and cast again.

Sinclair tosses leaves in the water and watches them float away, waves goodbye.

END MONTAGE

The sun sinks low. Both stand in silence and watch the golden sun reflect off the water. After some moments …

GRANDPA

Ready?

They gather up their gear, hold hands as they head out and into the trees.

SINCLAIR

I was right, you know.

GRANDPA

About what.

SINCLAIR

The spiral. Tomorrow everything will look exactly the same, only there

(MORE)

will be different water and different fish. And the fish we didn’t catch probably won’t care where they are.

GRANDPA

Maybe you discovered the secret to happiness.

SINCLAIR

Really? Should I tell God?

They vanish into the woods.

FADE OUT

So what’s really going on here?

We have a girl and her grandfather fishing together for the first time. They enter the scene with a ‘cool distance between them’, but when they exit, they are holding hands, so something happened that brought them closer together.

Grandpa’s opening comment …

GRANDPA

Good enough. Don’t be sad if you don’t catch nothin’.

… shows us two things. He doesn’t want to admit a girl found a good fishing spot, and he pretty much expects she won’t catch anything. Seems to fit the cool distance between them.

Sinclair follows with …

SINCLAIR

I won’t.

What do these two words tell us about Sinclair? Maybe that she doesn’t get her hopes up? Maybe with her home life, she got over disappointment some time ago. Maybe for her, fishing is more about the time outdoors than about catching fish.

Seem like too much going on for a kid? Maybe we’ll add another bit to the second film, a bit about the potential of children if given the chance. Talk to them like idiots, and you will get idiots.

Next line …

GRANDPA

Really took to fishin’, didn’t ya?

Not much mystery here. Grandpa appears impressed by Sinclair’s focus and skills. It also reveals maybe he these two have never fished together before.

Next line …

SINCLAIR

I suppose so.

Sinclair comes across as aloof, like fishing, or being good at it, is no big deal. Or, maybe her aloofness is based on some preconceived idea about her Grandpa, put there by the grown-ups around her.

Next few lines …

GRANDPA

Don’t say much do you?

Sinclair motions Grandpa to be quiet.

SINCLAIR

The fish can hear you. They got ears big as elephants.

The first line shows us these two don’t really know each other. The second shows us Sinclair doesn’t seem all the interest in changing that. Seems a little premature for someone at seven, so again, maybe all she hears about Grandpa is negative. They are stuck together with only one mutual interest.

Next few lines …

GRANDPA

(whispers)

Can we whisper?

SINCLAIR

(whispers)

Whisper about what?

She points to the water.

SINCLAIR

(whispers)

The water will take whatever you say all the way to the big ocean.

GRANDPA

I didn’t know that.

This conversation is broken by Sinclair’s catch. Up to now there is a distinct distance, with Grandpa trying to close it, and Sinclair trying to maintain it.

Next few lines …

GRANDPA

Real fine catch.

SINCLAIR

How long you been fishin’, Grandpa?

Why the sudden change? Kids are like that. Once they see a trust, or a sincerity, they move on – not always – but they seem pretty good at it. Screaming one second, laughing the next. Maybe Grandpa’s compliment softened her shell a little.

Sinclair is a quiet person. Maybe too quiet. Maybe she feels the same shut out feeling Grandpa does, and somehow sees him all of a sudden. Maybe the fact he didn’t try to meddle with her when she was cleaning the fish, or the way he said ‘Real fine catch’ gave her an instant

change of heart.

Yeah, all that.

Next line …

GRANDPA

Oh, I guess maybe seventy years now. Started out when I was about your age. Can I tell you about it?

SINCLAIR

Will you finish before you die?

GRANDPA

Not much tell. I’d say yes. Why?

Grandpa wants to tell his story. His days are numbered. Sinclair is reluctant and sets up parameters. Our next line reveals why.

SINCLAIR

Sometimes my mom reads to me, but doesn’t finish the story, and then she forgets all about it.

Okay, so maybe mom doesn’t give 100% to Sinclair, and Sinclair is aware of that, and maybe the storytelling part really bugs her more than anything. So, she’s not so sure she wants to hear Grandpa start a story.

Why did she say ‘before you die’? Again kids pick up everything they hear, and if the parents are talking about Grandpa dying, sure enough Sinclair will repeat it.

Next is an action that moves the film forward somewhat non-sequitor, but again, some kids do that (as do many grown-ups) making odd connections of logic. It also moves us into our Wabi Sabi/Zen film going on in the background.

Up until now we have really only looked at the relationship between these two, and what might be going on in the family that will eventually make these two best friends.

Now we’ll explore the understanding of self and the Wabi Sabi aesthetic as relates to this first film.

Sinclair gathers up a handful of fallen leaves and arranges them in order of those with the most green, to those which are brown and dry. In the middle are reds and yellows and oranges.

Sinclair is using the natural world around her to try and understand some of the relationship with her grandfather. She equates the changes with leaves with the changes in people. All one.

New lines …

She points to the green leaf.

SINCLAIR

That’s me.

She points to the brown leaf.

SINCLAIR

That’s you.

GRANDPA

Sounds about right.

SINCLAIR

So, what happens after that?

Here Sinclair sees another incomplete story. One of Wabi Sabi’s three truths is ‘nothing is finished’, and I would have this play out throughout the film, and possibly have Sinclair finally accept it. She’s showing some curiosity here.

Next lines …

Grandpa arranges the leaves in a circle, ends touching. Sinclair studies it a moment.

SINCLAIR

Hmm.

She gathers up more leaves, and with a careful hand makes a big spiral that repeats green to brown, green to brown.

GRANDPA

What are you thinking there?

SINCLAIR

Mom and dad fight a lot.

GRANDPA

What about?

SINCLAIR

Dad says life stinks because it just goes around and around and around.

Grandpa has a simple view of how things work. Things just repeat themselves. It’s not a right or wrong view, just a little too simple for Sinclair, who relates it back to an ongoing argument between mom and dad.

And again, the spiral will reinforce the concept that nothing is finished. A complete circle is a done deal. A spiral can go on indefinitely. Also, the fact she is using leaves, which show a clear transitory state, we also see the Wabi Sabi aesthetic of ‘nothing lasts’.

next lines …

Sinclair gets another bite and reels it in. She cleans it and tosses it in Grandpa’s basket, baits and casts, then rejoins him.

SINCLAIR

You can have that one.

GRANDPA

Appreciate it. So, you were saying?

SINCLAIR

Well, mom says it only appears that way to idiots with their eyes half opened. I figure maybe it’s more like this. Some things start over, only in a different place than before.

GRANDPA

Awful lot of thinking there.

The fish thing shows a willingness to share, maybe even her own feelings. In her final dialogue she makes a comment about God, so maybe Jesus’ fish story is fresh in her mind. Seems to me I was about that age when I heard the fish and bread deal.

Then Sinclair goes on to talk about the other side of her parent’s argument, so in her mind there might be more than one truth here.

And what of Grandpa? What are we learning about him? He seems to be a pretty nice guy, and seems to have softened to the fact his new best friend is a girl, and is willing to sit back and let Sinclair speak her mind.

Next lines …

SINCLAIR

Wait.

She gathers up a few rocks, a few sticks, and adds them in the mix here and there. Grandpa watches.

Finished, Sinclair sits back and studies the spiral.

SINCLAIR

Like that. New things come along that aren’t like the rest of the things, like computers. Mom told me you didn’t have them when you were a kid. Is that true?

GRANDPA

Yes, that’s true.

Man, how many times have heard this in real life? What? Kids didn’t have computers? Impossible! Barbaric!

Well, sorry, but not all of us were born with a silver MacBook in our mouths.

Again we have Sinclair relying on her natural world to express her ideas and think think things through. Zen has humanity very much a part of nature, and people’s need to find their one-ness with it.

Then we see a stark difference in these two, and how their environments shape their perception of things …

SINCLAIR

How did you guys talk?

GRANDPA

With the voices God gave us.

There may even be a little animosity in Grandpa’s tone. But what is the bigger message here? Sinclair communicates with other people with her computer, like chat maybe – and seems to point to her and her family not really saying much to each other, which brings us back to Sinclair’s ‘don’t say much’ in the beginning. So here again we are using nature to demonstrate and interpret what is happening in real life.

Grandpa gets a bite, reels it in and cleans it. He holds up the fish.

GRANDPA

Heads or tails?

Sinclair points to her own cheeks.

SINCLAIR

Heads.

Grandpa cuts the fish in half and tosses the head into Sinclair’s basket, the tail into his. He baits and casts, then rejoins Sinclair.

This scene is somewhat of a filler to keep some action going during all this dialogue, like we did with the dance in Zoe and Samuel’s scene. It also reminds us we are on a fishing trip, and there is a growing comfort with these two.

Next lines …

GRANDPA

It will be getting dark in a few hours.

This is a simple subtext that infers at some point they need to leave. No need to come right out and say it.

If we wanted to go deeper, we could say it has something to do with this new friendship having very little time to flourish. But let’s not go quite so deep. let the scholars toss that one around for a while.

Sinclair holds up a small broken rock, inspects it, then hands it to Grandpa.

GRANDPA

What’s this for?

SINCLAIR

I like the color. It isn’t perfect, but seems like things aren’t supposed to be. At least that’s what I think.

GRANDPA

I think you’re right.

They move back to the water.

Broken rock? The third Wabi Sabi aesthetic of ‘nothing is perfect’.

The montage …

MONTAGE

Sinclair and Grandpa cast and catch, clean and cast again.

Sinclair tosses leaves in the water and watches them float away, waves goodbye.

END MONTAGE

Here we are showing a complete transformation of their relationship. As concerns Zen, they have found a One between them, that natural rhythm in all things. Their fishing trip becomes like a dance, both in sync.

Sinclair keeps her interest in nature on the front burner as well, and waves goodby to the floating leaves … both accepting the transitory nature of things, and a one-ness with it.

Watching things float downriver also manifests itself in her closing dialogue …

The sun sinks low. Both stand in silence and watch the golden sun reflect off the water. After some moments …

Here we see them both find that profound peace, one near the beginning of the cycle of life, the other near the end. But still capable of being One.

GRANDPA

Ready?

They gather up their gear, hold hands as they head out

and into the trees.

They hold hands. The bond is complete.

SINCLAIR

I was right, you know.

GRANDPA

About what.

SINCLAIR

The spiral. Tomorrow everything will look exactly the same, only there will be different water and different fish. And the fish we didn’t catch probably won’t care where they are.

GRANDPA

Maybe you discovered the secret to happiness.

SINCLAIR

Really? Should I emaill God?

They vanish into the woods.

The fish? Even though things stay the same, they also do change, and it doesn’t need to be a bad thing.

Sinclair’s last words are really loaded. What did she mean by that?

I would venture to say she doesn’t see any happiness around her. Mom and dad fight and pretty much shut her out. Mom doesn’t dedicate herself, and dad is pretty miserable about life. Up until now, Sinclair’s view of Grandpa was a pain in the ass, and maybe she equates all parent/child relationships as cold.

There you have it. Subtext not only keeps things interesting by way of inferring what you meant, but also can reveal a deeper story that creates colorful glazes over and under your story. That makes depth.

Analogy …

Look at any painting done with commercial interest first, and you pretty much see a one-dimensional and flat work. Then stand in front of a Rembrandt, and you’ll see what a mastery of glazes is all about. You feel like you can reach or step into the painting, and the closer you stand before an alarm goes off, the more you see the glazes and the layers and the depth.

Think of it as background harmonies.